Trust in God

okay…I’m sad again, its back…but this time I’ll trust Allah.

توكلت على الله

God, I hope I get out of this state soon. Please pray for me.

…For the record, I know that my life is 1000% better than most others. I have so much good, I should be more grateful for that. This post isn’t in the attitude of “woe is me, I’ll dress in all black and cut myself!” No, not like that.

The prayer of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, when he was in his absolute lowest moments of life.

اللهم إليك أشكو ضعف قوتي وقلة حيلتي وهواني على الناس ياأرحم الراحمين أنت أرحم الراحمين  أنت رب المستضعفين وأنت ربي إلى من تكلني إلى عدو يتجهمني أم إلى صديق مكلته إمري إن لم يكن بك غضب علي فلا أبالي ولكن عافيتك هي أوسع لي أعوذ بنور وجهك الذي أضاءت له السموات و الأرض  وأشرقت له الظلمات وصلح عليه أمر الدنيا والأخره  أن ينزل بي غضبك أو يحل علي سخطك لك العتبى حتى ترضى ولاحول ولاقوة إلابك

 “O Allah, I complain to you of my weakness, and my plan is not working, and how insignificant I am to others, O Most Merciful of the Merciful, you are the lord of those who have no power, and you are my lord. Who are you going to leave me to? To some distant person who will be like the Fire to me? Or to some enemy who you give him power over me? If you have no anger towards me, then I have no objections. But making it easier is lighter upon me. I seek refuge in the divine light of your face, by which even the darkness becomes illuminated. And all of this world and the next world is taken care. I seek refuge that your wrath upon me, or your anger descends upon me. You can do whatever until you are pleased. And there is no power and no change except you.”


About Nahraf
Providing interesting insight into the world of Economics, Theology, Computer Science and Social phenomena.

2 Responses to Trust in God

  1. Hyde says:

    Salaam brother Yes have hope…you could contact me since I too am sad

  2. Last February I gave up cramming for my upcoming exam and spent some time reading this and its related post, “Examining my Disbelief,” and it was time well spent. I am eternally grateful to you for unpacking my innermost thoughts so eruditely. They don’t seem so unique.

    You know where I now go to when I’m indignant and want to vent my spleen? Yes, as you wrote, atheist books, tweets, memes, rants. That does not mean I ever succumb to their core beliefs; materialism, to my mind, remains a rank onslaught on our concepts of knowledge, truth, rationality, morality, human rights, human dignity, good and evil, right and wrong, and whatnot, a negation of all paramount human constructs, where life is intrinsically meaningless, too vacuous to be filled up with any fanciful secular humanist piffle. In any case, if, God forbid, I ever join their camp, I will be like the 19th-century ones who mourned, rather than gloated over, the faith they’d been sapped of. In reality, as long as I’m sane, deism or idealism would be my baseline mindset.

    I digress.

    Have you ever felt God? That’s all I’m truly hankering for right now, as genuine interest in anything belonging to this quotidian world peters out. That’s the rub. I do not want God not to exist. Actually, even if, when gutted and galled, I emotionally do, I can never rationally imagine reality without Him, or at least some other idealist realm beyond our mundanities and vagaries. But I can’t feel Him, nor have I ever tumbled to how tearful and engrossed and rapturous many of my co-religionists can become during worship, which makes me feel it’s me that’s wanting. In retrospect, my first umrah was admittedly more a disappointment than an appointment with Him. The closest I think I’ve ever got is by listening to recitation of the Quran (not reading, not reciting myself), but then again it was only one or two reciters that I’ve ever been sold on, and, to cap it all, I have recently developed tolerance to them, even to the Quran at large. It eventually occurred to me that, although I won’t, in my right mind, succumb to irrational Christian beliefs, I might feel Him in some church – just for a change.

    I envy the prophets.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: